How do I express sarcasm in non-dialogue text when writing a fiction novel?

“Think of something. Make it good, or all is lost.”

“What do you need me to do?” May said.

Serene’s face hardened. “I see. In any event, as long as he remains connected to it, I cannot escape. You need to break his connection.”

Are judges being lenient on hard criminals?

“Lord Dormer is personally overseeing this attack on my mind,” Serene said. “He appears to be directly coupled to the accumulator. I do not know why he is not using more of the stored power within it.”

“In that case, lemme have it.”

“I hardly think this is the time for a lesson on the mathematics of planar resonance in advanced multidimensional thaumaturgy.”

How can I get my ex-husband to love me again?

“Good heavens.” Annoyance touched Spencer’s voice. “We can’t be expected to figure out everything! You’ll have to work that bit out. Please, drink your tea.”

“May,” Serene said, “I can’t—”

I’m not really sure how you’d convey sarcasm without dialogue, since sarcasm is, by its nature, intrinsically wedded to dialogue. It’s a form of expression.

Why are girls supposed to have a stereotypical "hourglass" body shape, and why if you dont have an "hourglass" body shape you get treated differently? It doesnt make any sense to me.

“I cannot see the future.” A hint of impatience coloured Spencer’s voice. “At the moment, I think the task at hand is rather more pressing than the past.”

“I am, as I believe we have established already, a cat.”

Spencer sighed, the sound coming from the air itself. “It’s not really tea, of course. It’s the tangible representation, within this space, of a spell. Specifically, a spell that will allow you to communicate with Serene from wherever you are, among other things.”

Why is only the left side of my vagina bleeding, on and off?

I’m…hmm. I’ve seen this question float through my feed a couple of times now, and I’m still not quite sure I understand what you’re asking.

“Right. Okay. Focus.” She hurried along, trotting through the London that was not London, surrounded by phantasmagorical impressions of people that flitted around her in silence. “So how does this work? Is this, like, a real-time simulation? Are those weird blurs actually people in the real London right now? If someone were walking down this street in real London, would they see people where I see those—whatever they are?”

Cambridge Dictionary concurs:

Bicycling tied to reduced dementia risk and greater hippocampal volume retention - Medical Xpress

the use of remarks that clearly mean the opposite of what they say, made in order to hurt someone's feelings or to criticize something in a humorous way

“Good luck.” Serene stood. They embraced for a moment, then the air sizzled, the diagram flared, and May found herself standing, shuddering and queasy, at the foot of the skyscraper. She set out down the street in the strange twilit gloom of Spencer’s imaginary London, toward the scribble of the Thames and the sinister whirligig of the London Eye.

A moment later, the barrage ended. The dome, now considerably smaller than it had been, faded from view. That sense of presence returned to the statue. “I’m terribly sorry.” Spencer’s voice sounded thinner, somehow, weaker in May’s ears. “This situation is an intolerable nuisance. May, I wonder if we might impose on you to help save Serene’s life and ensure the future of the Guild? I wish I could say you’ll be fine, but I’m afraid the odds are rather good that you’ll die.”

What can melt your heart?

“So hey, about that.” May followed the street along the bank of the river. Strange blurred figures walked along the sidewalk with her, looming threateningly over her, dim and amorphous save for their hands and legs. She shivered as she made her way around them. In the street, suggestions of cars screamed by, much too fast, as vague and indistinct as the walking figures except for the noise and stench they left in their wake. “That night you followed me home from the club…”

“You could at least try to sugar-coat it a bit,” May grumbled.

“I didn’t realise you were so sarcastic.”

What is the best way to keep my vagina clean and fresh?

“But I can,” May said. “You helped me out when I was in a bind, and you didn’t even know me. Besides, Spencer’s right.”

“Advanced what?” She picked up speed, finding as she raced along the sidewalk that her legs didn’t tire, her lungs didn’t burn. “Is that a thing?”

“Oh, I get it! You’re being snarky.”

What are the differences between Republicans and Democrats in their views of the government's role in society? How do these differences impact policymaking?

“Ah, of course. Listen, this is your space, or alternate reality, or dream, or whatever the hell it is, right? You’ve already zapped me around from place to place. Why am I hoofing it to wherever it is I’m going?”

“Can’t you just, like, blink me directly to where I need to be?” May said.

“Yes?”

Can men and women be friends?

“Fine.” May rose from the small table. “The hard way it is.”

“I’m still not entirely clear on what you want me to do.”

Serene raised her hand. “I don’t think this is a good—”

Brewers Move Aaron Civale To Bullpen - MLB Trade Rumors

“I can answer that,” May said. “They’ve already used most of that energy for something else. We still don’t understand exactly what. A directed spell of some sort, focused through a human sacrifice.”

Sarcasm is, almost by definition, dialogue. In fact, Merriam-Webster defines it as:

“Did you know they would try to grab me?”

Why are there posts saying the T in LGBT should be dropped? With what is happening in the US and beyond against the trans community cause for concern that if this is accepted could it be deemed acceptable to start on the LGB community again?

“Okay, okay, you don’t have to rub it in.” May ran a hand through her hair. “What do I need to do?”

“No.”

“The Eye.”

“You see?” Spencer’s voice came. “My logic is beyond reproach. Iris is too important to the future of the Guild to risk. Dia and Janet likewise. The other students lack May’s outside perspective, so they are less likely to succeed. May is the right choice: expendable, but still just capable enough to make victory possible.”

“What?”

“Right. The Eye. Why can’t you just teleport me there?”

“I’m a cat.”

“Ordinarily I would say yes, but as the Adversary continues to gain ground in this space, I find myself increasingly constrained. I fear you will need to make your own way.”

“Ah, forgive me once again. May, I would consider it a personal favour if you might consider doing a small task for me.” Spencer’s voice carried a note of supercilious sarcasm. “You might not die.”

In our upcoming novel London Under Veil, Eunice and I have a character who’s quite sarcastic:

“How?”

a sharp and often satirical or ironic utterance designed to cut or give pain.

“If you must know,” Spencer said in a tone that suggested she didn’t, “it will allow Serene to see through your eyes and utilise you as a conduit for her spellcasting abilities. If you please.”

“The Adversary has placed sentries of a sort,” Spencer’s voice announced, “which I expect will grow more numerous as you get closer.”

“Your objection is noted,” Spencer said. “If we may move on to the important bit of this conversation, I would be appreciative if you might make your way over to the Eye and see if you might sabotage or otherwise distract our opponents long enough for Serene to shake off this bothersome spell that’s trying to eat its way into her mind. I would do it myself, but as you can see, I’m a bit busy maintaining this place and limiting the Adversary’s access, though I will confess to some consternation at the effectiveness with which they’ve made their way in. It must be convenient to have access to a source of energy more powerful than anything ever recorded in the history of magic. Crude, our opponents, but highly effective. Anything can be weaponized if you put enough force behind it.”

“What other things?”

May jumped. “Don’t sneak up on a girl like that! You almost scared me out of my skin.”

“There are currently some…complications. The Adversary has created a significant intrusion into this space, territory they control. Their presence is, and I do not say this lightly, quite painful. I have done the best I can.”

“So sorry to disturb you,” Spencer said. “I thought you’d want to be informed of potential threats ahead. If I’ve misjudged, please don’t hesitate to let me know.”

So I’m not sure that you can have “sarcasm in non-dialogue text,” as sarcasm is generally defined in terms of something you say or express…or perhaps I’m just not getting what you’re trying to ask.

May stared down at her mug, half-expecting to see some strange brew of raw magical essence. Ordinary tea filled an ordinary china cup. She took a deep breath, then swallowed the liquid. Nothing in particular happened. “Thank you,” Spencer said. “Now, off you go.”